Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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