you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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