I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize