I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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