I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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