is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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