the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
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