i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize