He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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