drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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