Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize