I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Randomize