Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
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Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
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I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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