We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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