I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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