How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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