Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize