It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize