New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So much Jack, so little girl.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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