Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize