i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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