In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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