I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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