I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize