You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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