The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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