I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize