I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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