Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We got so high we made milksteak
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize