just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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