Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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