dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize