i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
either way he was missing a nipple.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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