Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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