I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize