best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize