Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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