You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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