I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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