ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize