the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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