I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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