We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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