Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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