He uses pillows to masturbate.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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