Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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