I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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