That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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