if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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