i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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